Over My Dad Body

Life is full of unexpected changes. Some bring excitement and motivation, while others can cause stress and anxiety and even affect our health. And just like adults, kids experience stress, too.

Stress is the body’s physical, mental, and emotional reaction to challenges. It is a normal part of life, even for our children.

Kids today face all kinds of stressful situations. Changes at school, disruptions in their daily routines, moving to a new home, a parent changing jobs, or even the loss of a loved one can all feel overwhelming.

But here’s the tricky part—children (especially tweens and teenagers) often won’t come right out and say they are stressed. In many cases, they don’t even realize it themselves.

As a dad to a tween whose mood changes every five minutes and a baby who used to wail at just about everything, I’ve learned to spot when something’s off—sometimes even before they do.

Remember that by stepping in and helping your child manage their stress, you are giving them the tools to navigate life’s ups and downs in a healthier, more balanced way.

Feeling Overwhelmed: What It Really Means

When a child feels emotionally overwhelmed, it means their thoughts and feelings are so intense that they struggle to cope. It’s like being in a wave of intense emotions, making it hard to think clearly or function.

Overwhelm triggers a strong stress response in the body, sometimes causing kids to fight, run away, freeze, or even shut down completely. This can be really scary for them, especially if they don’t understand what’s happening.

What Causes It?

Feeling overwhelmed can come from many issues, often leaving kids stressed and out of control. Some common causes include:

• High levels of stress
• Lack of sleep
• Going through or witnessing something traumatic
• Major life challenges or changes that bring intense stress
• Grieving the loss of a loved one
• A history of trauma
• Big transitions, like moving, adjusting to a new sibling, or starting a new school
• Taking on too much at once—whether it’s schoolwork, social events, or responsibilities
• Packing their schedules too tightly
• Feeling like they have no say in what’s happening around them
• Underlying health conditions that add to the mental and physical strain

Stress in Children: Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

Kids are not just smaller versions of adults—they experience and show stress in their own unique ways. If your child is feeling overwhelmed, it might not always be obvious. Here are some signs that they may be struggling and could use a little extra support:

Frequent tantrums, mood swings, or seeming more easily annoyed than usual. Stress can make kids more easily frustrated, leading to stronger feelings of anger and irritability. They might have emotional outbursts that seem out of character or don’t quite match the situation.

Struggles to keep up with schoolwork or to stay focused in class. If your child’s grades suddenly drop or they are struggling more than usual in school, stress could be the culprit. When kids are overwhelmed, it is harder for them to focus in class or get through homework.

Pulling away from family and friends or spending more time alone. Stressed kids might withdraw, preferring to be alone rather than spending time with family or friends.

Having a hard time falling asleep or feeling tired in the morning. Much like us adults, bedtime can bring out worries and fears in children. When they are stressed, they might struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep, and they could start having nightmares.

Frequent headaches or stomachaches that don’t seem to have a clear cause. When children feel anxious or stressed, their bodies release a hormone called cortisol, which can lead to physical symptoms like stomach cramps and headaches.

Acting out or being more resistant than usual. When stressed, children might feel angry or overwhelmed and look for ways to escape whatever makes them uncomfortable. This can often lead to defiant or stubborn behavior.

Keep in mind that stress shows up differently in each child, depending on their age, personality, and how they usually cope. The key is to pay attention to any sudden or drastic changes in their usual behavior.

How to Help Your Child Overcome That Overwhelming Feeling

Kids don’t have a lot of control over their lives. They are constantly being told when to eat, when to sleep, how to behave, what to wear, what to say, and what to learn. The list goes on.

But they do know how to push buttons and get a reaction from their parents. Sometimes, saying “no” is the only bit of control they feel they have.

Feeling overwhelmed isn’t always random. Sometimes, children act out because they want attention or something specific. Other times, they are simply too tired to regulate their emotions or actions.

They experience things their parents may never even hear about throughout the day, and their developing brains (which won’t fully mature until around age 25) don’t always know how to process it all. Unlike adults, kids react more emotionally and impulsively because they haven’t yet learned how to manage their responses.

Dealing with that overwhelming feeling can be exhausting for a parent. But understanding where it comes from can make a big difference.

Here are a few tips to help manage it:

Establishing and sticking to routines

Children thrive on predictability. Whether it’s a consistent morning routine, a set bedtime ritual, or regular family meals, these little traditions give them a sense of stability.

As parents, we have to understand that the world around them is always changing, often in ways they can’t control. But knowing they can count on home to be a steady, reliable place helps them feel safe and secure, even when everything else feels overwhelming.

Set clear boundaries

I have two daughters, and while they are both still very young, I swear they have both read the same secret manual on testing my limits. Hey, it’s just how children are wired. They naturally push boundaries to see how far they can go.

But here’s the thing: when kids grow up without clear limits, it might seem like they are getting everything they want, but in reality, it can leave them feeling lost.

Experts agree that children feel more secure when they know where the boundaries are and understand the consequences of crossing them. Setting clear expectations helps them feel safe and gives them a framework for how to behave.

And it’s not just about home life. Children who understand limits are better equipped to navigate relationships outside the family because they’ve learned what’s appropriate and what’s not.

Getting back to familiar activities

Many kids had to put their favorite activities on hold during the pandemic. Some may feel anxious about jumping back in after so much time with limited social interaction.

If it is safe to do so, encourage them to try a new activity or revisit an old favorite. If they are hesitant, set a trial period (maybe two weeks?) before deciding whether to continue. Chances are, once they get back into it, they will remember how much they love it.

Making time to talk

Children often struggle to start tough or uncomfortable conversations. The best way to get them talking is to create natural opportunities while doing something together. Invite them to help in the kitchen, sit down for a meal as a family, or chat while driving. They are often more open when there’s no pressure to make eye contact or talk directly about their feelings.

Promote healthy diet and sleep habits

Hungry or overtired kids are rarely in a good mood. To keep them feeling their best, make sure they are eating a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Sleep is just as important. Without enough rest, children are likelier to have emotional outbursts or struggle focusing.

Establish a calming bedtime routine by turning off screens, dimming the lights, and allowing time to wind down. The body naturally produces melatonin, but it needs cues that it’s nighttime. Encourage relaxing activities like reading, journaling, or anything that doesn’t involve bright screens. A little structure around meals and sleep can make a big difference in your child’s mood and energy.

Teach them to find humor in daily life

Laughter is not just fun but a great stress reliever, too. Look for ways to share a laugh with your children, whether watching a funny movie, reading jokes or comics, playing silly games, or just finding humor in everyday moments together.

Love and quality time

Laughing together, playing, being silly, sharing hugs, telling them how much you love them, and simply spending time together, these little moments mean the world to your child. They create a deep sense of security and belonging, letting your child know they have a special place in the family. It reminds them they are loved, valued, and truly worth your time.

Be “there” for them

Lately, my daughter has been riding an emotional roller coaster. Some days, she’s frustrated because she and a classmate aren’t getting along; other days, she just wants some quiet time at home but can’t seem to get it.

We’ve talked. Sometimes, I’ve just listened. We have explored solutions together. But more than anything, I’ve learned that my job isn’t always to fix the problem. It’s to be there, to support her, and to help her work through it.

One of my favorite questions to ask is, “What do you think is best, and why?” Giving her the space to solve her own problems builds confidence. Of course, she doesn’t always get it right—but even those mistakes become valuable lessons.

Our goal as parents is to be a steady presence, helping our children think through challenges while letting them experience both success and failure. They’ll face frustration, stress, and disappointment, but what really matters is that they feel safe enough to navigate those emotions and confident enough to handle whatever comes next.

Teach them responsibility

When children take on responsibilities, they learn they have something valuable to offer. Helping out isn’t just about chores—it gives them a sense of pride and confidence, knowing they are making a real difference.

At home, my 12-year-old is in charge of keeping an eye on her little sister while my wife and I finish up household tasks. It’s not a huge responsibility, but it’s something that has grown over time. We make sure she knows how important she is to our family and that our little team wouldn’t be complete without her.

Help Your Child Feel Safe and Secure

During the holidays, we pull up to the gymnasium, ready for a big gathering with family and friends. Before I can even finish parking, my 12-year-old is already halfway out the door, eager to jump into the fun.

Every time this happens, it makes me smile—not because she’s a social butterfly or desperate to get away from us, but because I know how far she’s come. She used to struggle with insecurity, unsure of herself, hesitant about making friends, and easily discouraged by setbacks.

When a child feels secure, they feel loved. They have the confidence to make decisions, build relationships, and handle challenges. And perhaps most importantly, they are better equipped to navigate life’s emotional ups and downs.